My parents have been married for 32 years. Growing up, I thought we were a pretty “normal” family. In my late teen years is when I started to realize that my dad was emotionally/ mentally abusive to me, but not my brother. He would call me fat to my face, and talk about me to my mom when he thought I couldn’t hear him. I was never fat in my teen years. I was solid, but never fat, it was just my body and always has been/will be. He also required me to do “womanly things” around the house. I.e. washing dishes, doing laundry, making dinner, from about 13 years old. All my brother was required to do was take the trash to the curb, and I put a new bag in the can. I had considerably more that I was responsible for around the house. My brother was allowed to sleep in until whatever time he pleased on the weekends, while I had to be out of bed by 8 every Saturday and Sunday. I was not allowed to take naps during the day, but my brother was. I moved out at 18 and my dad never forgave me, though we’ve somewhat tried to mend our relationship over the years. (Me apologizing to him for my teen years, and him accepting, but never forgiving.) I’m now 25 with a beautiful little 19 month old girl, and I couldn’t ever imagine my husband or I speaking to my daughter the way my dad spoke to me. My parents live 6 hours away in another state, and my dad expects me to bring my family to him on a strict “we came to you last time, you have to come to us now” schedule. He even made my mom stay home from my daughters very first birthday party because “they came to us last time, and we should have the party at their house so they can be included.” Mind you, the rest of my very large family (excluding my brother and his wife, who moved across the country for work) live right here in the same state as we do and they all willingly and happily traveled two hours to celebrate my daughter. Now every time that my parents get the opportunity to see my daughter in person, my dad always makes comments like “she doesn’t even know who we are.” “She can’t remember us.” “I guess it’ll probably be a year before we are allowed to see her again.” And he just pretty much ruins the joy of having them around because of his attitude. My mom is the absolute sweetest person I have ever met, but she does stand up for me when needed, and she always has. I am at the point with my dad that I am considering cutting him out of my life, and my daughters life. But the problem is that I don’t want to cut my mom out of our lives. She is an amazing, gentle, loving mom, and an even more amazing grandma to my child. How do you cut one parent out without breaking the other parents heart? I don’t see a possible way to do it, and I very strongly want my mom and daughter to know each other. What do y’all think? How do I handle this situation in consideration to my moms feelings and wellbeing?