It’s been a day full of tantrums for my eight month old. The beginning of a very unpleasant phase. We’re both tired. He finally calmed down though, a half hour before bedtime, so I figured we should video call his dad. We usually try to Skype with him every Sunday, but my son has been developing this weird anxiety thing about men, so I figured seeing his dad a little more regularly might help some with that.

We call him, he’s at work still. That’s fine. Just a quick five minute call is pretty easy. I’m over him at this point and am in a new relationship. I have full custody and we live two states away from my son’s dad.

Watching my ex’s eyes light up when he saw this gorgeous little boy still makes me happy, even though he as a person does not. He’s a good dad and he tries hard. I’ve forgiven him for cheating and have moved past it. He’s still a good person. He just made a very bad decision. He’s good to our son and he’s good to me. He gives me everything I want without a fight, and I don’t take advantage of him because I appreciate the sacrifice he’s making, living 2,000 miles away from his son so that my mental health has a chance to prosper again.

Baby was quiet during the call. He did smile at his dad though, which is progress. After we hung up, I told him he did a really good job. That we still have to call him even if we don’t necessarily want to see him because it makes his dad happy. Him being happy makes us happy. We’re good to him because he’s good to us.

My beautiful little boy looked up then and batted the big brown eyes he got from me, resting his head on my chest.

It’s been a long day and I’m very tired. I know he’s too young to remember this, but I hope this life lesson sticks with him.