Why do I care so much?!

He cheated on me, I took him back.

He wanted to leave then changed his mind, I took him back.

Yesterday my husband moved 98% of his shit out of our home with about a day notice yesterday then went to a bar and got f***** up last night. Haven’t heard a word from him. “He needs space” he says.

Wtf about his 4 year old child and 24 week pregnant wife at home?? We tried for over a year for this baby and lost twins in the between too.

WTF

Who leaves their pregnant wife and kid to go party??

I woke up from one of my oh so vivid dreams of him dragging a duffle bag back into our home and basically just collapsing in my arms. It woke me up so fast. And now I’m crying.

I’m so scared to be on my own with 2 little ones. He says he will be there but how can he if he is going out and doing dumb shit and getting f***** up? I can’t trust him or depend on him. I am trying soooo freaking hard to keep my head and not let myself spiral out of control and get so depressed I can’t function. I am TERRIFIED. Having a second baby is scary enough but then to have my husband leave me to do it alone...I’ve never even lived by myself....

I am so lost and really needed to vent. Help me keep going ladies.