I’m so Insecure 😢

This is kinda a long story so please bear with me

My boyfriend and I have been together for a month and some change but I have known him for about a year.

We were friends for about six months when he told me he liked me. We went on a few dates and the whole time he was so sweet to me and made me feel so special. I was so happy and so excited.

After a little while of going on dates (we were never official) he just quit responding to me. I found out later he had met another girl and chose to be in a relationship with her instead.

So long story short he was with that girl for a couple months and since I’m a good friend I was there for him when they broke up (she cheated multiple times). I helped him clean her shit out of his car and his apartment and I was there for him when he cried.

A couple months after they broke up him and I started dating. I’m so happy with him, I’m absolutely head over heels in love. The only problem is my mind keeps going back to what happened and even though I know he wouldn’t ever leave me, especially for her, I can’t get the thought out of my head. I’m such a jealous person by nature and I can’t shake what happened.

He’s since admitted to me (many times) that he regrets choosing her over me and that it was the biggest mistake of his life. I know he means it (Ive been hurt many times, I can tell when someone is being truthful) and I trust him 100% but I’m so caught up in my own head. I’m really afraid that my insecurity is going to ruin my relationship. I love him and I don’t wanna lose him.

I know I just painted him to be an asshole but I promise y’all he’s not. I’ve never met anyone like him and that’s why I’m so affected by this