So many of y’all have had loss, struggles, and pain. So many of y’all have been TTC for quite some time. So many of you are holding out for the rainbow, the shining light at the end of the tunnel.

I admire you. I admire your strength. Strength does not mean you don’t break down, you don’t have hard times.it simply means that you keeping moving forward. Keep trying.

I admire that so much. I recently had a friend who lost her almost one year old in an accident. She said something and I’d like to share it with each of you.

“To the mommas of loss. I hear you. I feel you. I get what you are dealing with. So many say they understand, but if they haven’t been there they don’t. It’s okay to realize that. You know they are trying, but it is okay to have that voice say “they don’t understand.”

At the end of the night, you are still there without your baby. The baby you protected, at least you tried to. You hold yourself accountable. Blame yourself.

I want to tell you, it is not your fault. In any way. It does not make you any less of a mother.

When you saw those two lines, your heart became a momma. When you heard that heart beat, your heart became a momma. When you watched your belly grow, your heart became a momma. No matter when you lose a child, your heart will always be a momma. It will always love, worry, and wonder about your child. It will yearn, ache, and bleed for your child.

It is okay to not want to get out of bed, it is okay to want to be alone, it is okay to be confused, it is okay to be angry, it is okay! Just let yourself feel those feelings. Let yourself hurt, you don’t have to hide it and it’s okay if no one understands.

Ignore all the comments, the “advice”, the “at least you never met them” or “at least they were still young.” Nothing will make this moment when your heart is breaking okay, so just feel it. For as long as you need. Shut the world out and tend to you. That is how you heal. That is how you move forward. That is how you survive. With time it will get better, just know that it will. Breathe.

My heart is with you, as are the hearts of all broken momma hearts. Breathe.”