Did your bond with your 1st change after 2nd?

Question

Did your relationship/bond with your firstborn change at all after you had your second child?

Answer

Bond, sure. You cannot solely focus on your first born when you have a newborn
Its shifts.
Love, absolutely stays the same
Make time for both children. Set aside half an hr or an hr a day to spend one on one time with the older child.

Answer

For us it was fine at first, but once the “new” wore off the baby it was tough for my then 8-year-old to adjust to having to share me after being the only child for so long, but her age and maturity has also helped her understand that the baby needs me more right now. She never really acted out, but she did let me know she was feeling sad that our alone time was a lot less than before. I do try to have “our time” just the two of us once the baby goes to bed. She gets herself ready for bed while I put the baby down then I go snuggle with her, we read and chat and if she was extra good and got her daily chores done we watch one short YouTube video together. I can’t imagine doing this with a younger child though, when they can’t really understand why you can’t pay attention to them 100% of the time anymore must be so difficult. But most people do have their kids closer together and everyone gets through it in the end. It’s just hard in the moment, but taking the time to prioritize one-on-one time with all your children and also your spouse is so important.

Answer

I'm really struggling with this right now. I had my son 8 days ago and my 19 month old daughter, who has been the center of my universe since her birth, now cannot be (and you know what I mean, I have a life outside of her but she is my baby girl). Obviously, I knew this. It is just common sense that I cannot tend to a newborn and have all eyes on my firstborn. But it feels like a tremendous loss at the moment and I'm mourning it. I miss her terribly, despite her being under the same roof much of the time and while I am SO relieved that she has taken to time with Daddy so well and isn't clinging to me (bc that would stress me out and break my heart) it is a change of what you have known prior to welcoming your second baby and it is an adjustment. My love for her has grown, if anything, bc I appreciate her so much more now that I see her as not just my baby but my son's sister. And I appreciate our time together bc instead of feeling like I need some space from her, I cherish the snuggles and any time I get with her right now. Our bond will always be changing and evolving as she grows. The whole adjustment is hard nonetheless. Best of luck to you and your family, mama ❤️

Did your bond with your 1st change after 2nd?

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