I’m pregnant 17 weeks n 1 day .. so I let him use my phone he seen this but you guys we aren’t together we have sex & say we love each other he keeps fucking around he keeps fucking w females & I cant take it anymore we been on n off for months. We had our son in may now I’m pregnant again with TWINS. Well I was texting this guy cause his ex ex texted me saying they fuck raw so I was salty was textingd an old dude I used to fw. He shouldn’t of went to these messages like I’m so confused on why he did it we spent the day together I bought him food we had a nice day then he needed to use my phone I peeped him looking thru it I walked over and was like tf he was like who is this and just walked out and showed me he unblocked the ex bitch that got him in jail for beating her up( i know I’m stupid for fw him after knowing that didn’t think he would ever do it to me but he has put his hands on me multiple times this isn’t the first) so I chase him out begging him to please talk to me that I love him I’m so stupid right he comes towards me and pushes me down on the drive way and pulled me by my hair all the way in the grass & spit on me. Even after that I still tried to chase after him he called me a cheating ass bitch but we aren’t together guys we just fuck around so I’m so confused. We been together for a year now been on and off like crazy after we had our son he just has got so crazy like I seen worst on his phone and I just try to let it go and work things out with him. You guys are probably gonna be like you’re so stupid you’re so dumb yes I am something is wrong with me I feel so attached to him when we get in to it like this he doesn’t speak to me for a week or so then pops up when I’m getting over him. I go thru depression so this just makes it so much worst I cry so much sometimes I don’t want to eat I don’t want to get out the bed to take a shower I take care of my son duh I get help from my grandmother she knows I’m going thru it. My life has just been so shitty like finding out I’m pregnant again then I find out with twins 😓 like what is happening my world is falling apart I feel so ALONE I HATE IT SO MUCH I FEEL LIKE I DONT HAVE NOONE. I wanted to come on here because my right rib is so sore and my neck is so sore I can’t get comfortable I can’t even get up right idk if I should go to the hospital I don’t even know I just hope my babies are good. Someone give me some tips how to let go of this man I try so hard to think of all times he’s spit on me, slap me , choke the hell out of me, held me up by my neck , pulls my hair, bit me ,busted my lip, blackened my eye. But he can just call me text me tell me he loves me and that I’m so beautiful that he misses me and I’m right back with him. What’s wrong with me how can I stop this cycle it’s destroying me it’s making problems w my family they keep telling me I changed that he changed me. I feel like my soul is so attached to this man I feel like if he’s not in my life I will die. I just want him to change for hisself not for me for him I always think he will then he just switches up he ends up being controlling again saying I can’t wear make up I look like a whore & ugly with makeup he talks about my pussy how it’s loose and that really gets to me.. I just get really wet when having sex with him I get to aroused, then he thinks I’m to popular on social media so that makes him mad he doesnt want me to have an Instagram. He always tells me he wants me to hisself then we could work out that’s what he always says. Please leave nice comment no hate please I don’t need it I know I’m dumb this is just my first love my first boyfriend I’m 20 years old I’ll be 21 in December I never thought someone would treat me like this back in the day I thought a guy getting jealous was so cute and means he really loves you that’s not right at all. Just someone please tell me how I can get over him I keep thinking about him I can’t just forget about him I have kids by him so it’s like I can’t ever just leave him he told me that he’s glad he got me pregnant because then we can’t ever stop fw each other. This is just ugh someone give me advice