Me and my mom have never been close and I mean never, she’s always been there for my older sister

We’re half siblings, same mom different dad

When I was 2 my parents broke up, I don’t know why exactly but they did and ever since then my mom has resented me

She gets mad at me and screams at me for little things like how I look like my dad

“Stop making that face you look like your dad”

And all I’ll be doing is smiling

Or

“Stop acting like that, you seem just like your shit father”

I won’t lie I look just like my dad, act like my dad talk like him, I’m his Mini me

My dad is the best, he’s my best friend and been through everything with me and loves me no matter what

And she hates that, so she puts me down all the time

“Stop eating your already fat enough”

“Put some make up on you look like trash”

In her eyes I’m just flaws and it hurts, she praises my sister on everything, makes her seem like she’s the greatest thing ever

She tells me to be more like her but I don’t want to be like my sister

I love my sister but

She’s lazy and rude and loves makeup and girly things, she likes to dress up in tight clothes and didn’t go to college and got pregnant

I like to think I’m nice and active and I hate make up, I like boy things and I like loose clothes I’m gonna go to college to become a nurse and I watch my sister baby all the time

I use to play three sports throughout high school and even got a scholarship in volleyball

Until I got into a car accident and shattered my knee cap

My mom tells me I’m even more of a disappointment now

It hurts and since I was little I’ve been depressed, it’s hard because I love my mom, and I see my friends with there loving moms and it kills me

It hasn’t been all bad, she’s nice sometimes and those are good times but they don’t last, she goes out and drinks and comes home and screams at me telling me she wishes she never had me and that I’m worthless and that no one ever wanted me

It really kills me inside, my dad has always told me it would get better that she will see her mistake, he first told me that when I was 5.

I’m sad and most nights I wish I don’t wake up, I dread getting up and most of the time I think of ending it all but then I remember my niece

My sister is no mother to her, I stay for her, I want her to have someone who loves her

I wish my mom loved me the way I loved that little girl I wish my mom loved me even 1% of the amount I love that little girl

Now every night I wonder, why doesn’t my mom love me, why does she hate me so much