I'm waiting for my boyfriend to break up with me. I love him more than anyone in this entire world and I can't ever imagine myself with someone else. When I think of my future I not only see him in it but I also want him to be in it. I am literally a horrible girlfriend though. If he drinks alcohol then I feel like I have too to cause I don't want him to be the only one to do it. If he gets breakfast on his way to work at a gas station then I'll get mad that he didn't get me anything. If he's on his phone for a long time then I wonder what he's doing. I give him major attitude all the time. I could go and on, I know I'm horrible. I don't go to therapy because we're constantly traveling for his work so I don't have a job or an income. I'm overly jealous and controlling. I don't want to be but I don't know how to stop! I feel like it helped a little when I was keeping a diary but it didn't help by much. I feel bad for him because everything he says when we get into our arguments, are true. We've been together for a few years and I don't want us to end but I feel like he could break up with me at any moment. I know he loves me too and we've talked about marriage and our future a million times. He's even said he can't see himself with anyone else but he also has said before that he CAN see himself single. I constantly apologize to him and I do try to be better, I try to give less attitude but it just slips out sometimes. I also get mad really easily. I'm sorry that I may be rambling.. I'm just so worried and don't know what to do.