So my husband and I have been together for about 8 yrs. we just hit our 2 yrs of being married a couple days ago. Right now we are not doing well. We have had some ups and downs and mind you we both have our inner demons we have to fix. I have been learning to do that these last few weeks through reading self help books. I am no longer the people pleaser I’ve always been. I have learned to love myself and I love myself more and more each day. With that I stand up for what I want and what I don’t. Well I’ve also grown apart from my husband. And I realize I need to find myself. I decided I was done with all his insecurities after dealing with them for many years. I said I wanted a divorce. This wasn’t the first time either. I had mentioned it before but then was manipulated into coming back. (Yes I know, stupid me) we’ll this time I’m not going to let that happen so easily. A few nights ago I came home from a girl friends house and my husband was packing to leave. He was drunk and mad. He lost his temper and scared me by pretending to hit me. When I went to go get a bag packed to leave he wouldn’t let me leave. He took my phone, my keys and he threatened me serious harm. He pushed me onto the bed and covered my mouth to prevent me from screaming and occasionally prevented me from breathing. When he realized what he was doing he stopped but begged me not to leave cause it was so late. I ended up staying and falling asleep in our bed from exhaustion of defending myself while he told me he would stay out in the living room. He told me the next morning I could leave. That morning came around and he was sober. He was begging and pleading me not to go and apologizing profusely. But he didn’t stop me from leaving. I went to a safe place and stayed there over the weekend. I want you all to know that my husband has never done or acted like this before. And I’m not trying to make excuses for him. I’m just letting you all know. He knows that that was what broke the camels back (not sure if I said that correctly) that that made my decision more clear. But after talking he wants to make things right and work this out. I told him that I still love him. But at this moment only as a friend. He said he’ll do anything to make this right so we can be a family again. (Just us two. No kids) I’m having very mixed feeling whether or not I should give him a chance to fix this or just leave him. I don’t want to hurt him but I don’t want to hurt myself either. I have a couple months to decided because our lease isn’t up till December. He’s promised to go seek help and do marriage counseling but I’ve mentioned all that before and he didn’t attempt to try. So now that he know he may lose me he’s open to try. But I just don’t know how to feel about all this. A friend told me divorce is like the same grief we get when we lose a loved one to death. She was so spot on. My heart is very confused right now and it keeps jumping back and forth of moving on and finding myself to giving him a chance to prove to me he can seek the right help he needs. Have anyone of you been in my situation... how did you handle it? (I understand there will be criticism toward me or my husband, you are entitled to you opinion.... I will take it with a grain of salt.)