possible trigger warning!

i'm not sure if i'm posting this in the right topic, but i'm a teen and i need to talk/vent so i suppose i am. when i was around 11/12 i created an instagram and got to know a few people from the community i was in (i was a slime account stop judging me) and i joined a group chat with a bunch of other people and we became best friends. we knew each other for two years and we shared so many laughs, so many night staying up playing around on call with each other, watching movies we pirated from rabbit, playing games together online, you name it. during those two years i started to question my sexuality and they helped me a lot. they were understanding, caring and just.. so accepting. they were truly all my soulmates. the groupchat changed a lot in the beginning, someone would say something controversial or be mean and we kicked them out, eventually we got the perfect group of friends, there was 15 of us and we were so so close. i won't be sharing any names but i met a girl i got along with amazingly, she was the first girl i felt feelings for, i had never felt this before and i was terrified but i knew what i was doing at the same time. after two months of knowing each other she expressed her feelings for me. i was so excited! we starting dating on january 22nd, 2018. iasked her to be my girlfriend! i was so proud of myself. i was so happy. after a year of dating my (very homophobic) father found a note i had written to myself. i talked about my sexuality, the group chat, everything in that note. he read all of it and smashed my phone, the only source of communication i had with my friends. at that moment my world fell apart, i was traumatized, i had to watch as my only happiness, the only was to vent my feelings was ripped away from me. i was under strick supervision from that moment on. i was humiliated on purpose by my parents, they trash talked the lgbtq+ community in front of me, told me i was delusional and going to hell for my sins. i was very suicidal at that time, and they put me down and belittled me for that as well. i started talking to my groupchat again occasionally, sneaking into my sisters ipod. they caught me. more humiliation , more showing all our messages to my siblings and more talking about me behind my back. after mustering the courage, on mine and my girlfriends year and six month anniversary, i wrote her. she had fallen out of love with me. all those promises we made to each other were gone. i was shattered. i still am. i wish i could go back to a year ago and erase it all. i wish i never met them. i know it'd harsh but i can't continue suffering like this. i have nobody to vent to. i've been alone for so long and i'm so lonely and sad all the time. i just needed to get this out, if you read all this, thank you. thank you for listening to my story.