Not regretting but should’ve thought better

Hello, so this is sort of a little vent because I feel like if I tell someone they’ll think differently of me. Anyway, I have my daughter she’s almost 9 months (yay!!) And I love her to death like any other mother loves their child. Lately I’ve been thinking about when I didn’t have a child,I’ve been remembering how nice it was not having a baby or a (boyfriend) 🙄🤷🏻‍♀️ but like a part of me wants to go back and live my life a little more before I decided to have a kid. And I sit here thinking and thinking AND thinking why? Why couldn’t I just wait. Like a part of me wishes I could just wake up and it was all just a dream.. as I sit here and think about how I used to be I feel like I didn’t give myself enough time to grow or learn who I was because I was to busy with my boyfriend trying to please him when I wasn’t even taking care of myself. Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and have my old body back, were I was careless about what I ate and confidant In what I wore. It’s sad that I crave me time so much but I never get it.. I miss having friends I miss having time for myself I miss having money for things that I wanted I miss not having a worry In the world... idk am I bad mother for craving my old life? I love my daughter but sometimes I miss myself and who I used to be..thanks for listening.