Growing up if we showed emotions or asked questions about my dad's death or my adoption my adopted mom would cry and act like it's all about her. So my brother and I didn't have the whole freedom of speech or freedom of how we felt. We had to feel what they felt. Listen to music they liked, wear what they liked. All throughout my teenage years. I am also a survivor of physical, emotional, mental and sexual abuse growing up. All from my brother. I've had broken bones, chocked until I passed out, he's cut me burn me and if I didn't do what he said my punishment was him raping me. Once he put my finger in a rat trap over and over when I disobeyed him. He's biologically my brother and only 2years older. But we was always neglected as kids. Mentally I'm 2 years behind, I have depression PTSD and anxiety but I think it's more.

Fast forward to now at 25-

I can't show emotions at all. I feel them I just can't show them. To the point my mother inlaw said something. Socially I am so behind. I can't keep a conversation going as well as I can't start one. I hate change. And friends are out of the question. I don't know how to make them. Then there's my brother. Hes not effected at all.