My LDR boyfriend is slipping away 😭

We have been in a relationship for a year and we planned to see each other with christmas. Now he has been conflicted about the relationship.

He does love me alot and I know that its true, but he says its of no use to continue a relationship when you only see each other twice a year. I already told him that it is a temporary situation because once he knows what he want with study or work and I finish my studies we can live together forever. It is a matter of 3 years which indeed is long but on the other hand not that long.

We both ofcourse never liked the long distance but it was never a huge problem, we found our way around it. Just now this last weeks since its clear that we can see each other with christmas he has been conflicted about it. I think it might me his fear beign together and then seeing me go home without him. He is not someone who talks about his problems or feelings but he usually pushes it away by creating problems.

I feel so heartbroken en lost. Only the idea of not beign his girl makes me feel sick. I actually lost quiet some weight because I can't eat normal. I don't sleep well and cry myself to sleep many times or even wake up crying. I'm emotionally drained. I don't know what to do 😭