Advise needed

Hi I was just wondering if anyone else experienced this before. I've always wanted a baby since I was younger. I had a goal that I wanted to have my life set with a house husband and kids before I was 27. I finally found the right guy for me and he has 2 kids that I absolutely love. But, I still want a baby and he doesn't. I know realistically it's not the right time so I got on birth control bc I know he doesn't want any. I was a week late getting my birth control shot so they gave me a plan b. My question is, even though I know it's not the right time and I'm on birth control why do I always feel so upset to know I'm not pregnant? And is it terrible that I hope that the birth control would fail? Is it normal to feel this way?