Going through a rough brakeup ....

My ex broke up with me last Xmas due of me not doing what he wanted me to do when he said so, and for not letting him control my life.

He goes months w/out contact then comes back like nothing and be all friendly with me and act like he cares, miss me and make me believe that he thinks about us and how things ended up between us.

My dumb a$$ always fall for it 🤦🏽‍♀️

He’s deff a narcissist cause he can never give me a straight answer when I ask him something related to our past relationship or even when we talk again.

I always ask him what he wants from me and puff he goes MIA .....Then he comes back as soon I moved on with my life and rolled me back in his finger.

I’m getting sick of this back and forth thing and untangling knots.

I just wish I was more stronger then what I pretend to be at times when I tell my self over and over not to ever reply to his texts, move on with my life and close that chapter.

I’m working on healing and forgiving myself but with him coming in and out of my life and me letting him isn’t helping.

Our relationship was super toxic and I got to the point that I made myself believe that he acted the way he did because he loved me.

I just don’t know what to do anymore, I feel so lost and I know I can do better then this. I became so codependent that it’s so diff for me just to let go and forget about him. Just the idea of him finding other person or going w/out contact forever terrifies me.

Any advice will help me so much 💜