Believable or nah?

Question

So my husband hates talking about our problems everyday and me telling him what he does wrong all the time... specially at night he says he’s tired and just wants to watch tv relaxed and then sleep.... is he just saying that or something believable.....

Answer

If you have so many problems that you need to discuss them every single day, you need to take a step back and figure out what’s going on. Maybe you two aren’t communicating well. Maybe you need couples counseling.

Answer

This comment will be long, sorry!
There is actually a video or something that I've seen long time ago about men describing how much the "box of nothing" matters to them. That is: coming home from work, or something else, and just wanting to feel, think and do nothing.
My SO comes home from work and he has a ritual of opening the door, going to pee, undressing from his work clothes, grabbing food and sitting on the sofa to watch something brainless. Thats his way of "winding out". I usually give him an hour or so with himself, doing his own thing, and I usually know he's ready to be off of the "box of nothing" when he comments about something from the TV, or asks me something about my day. 
It wasn't always like that, I used to be extra happy when he got home because I missed him so much and thats when I had the time to interact and etc, but he told me that this "ritual" is important for him (especially considering he does a stressful demanding job), and it doesn't mean that we won't talk, it's just that he needs to cool off first, and get his mind to understand he's home and give his body time to relax.
Of course that if I have something really important to say, or something significant has happened, he has all the energy and time in the world to skip the ritual and give the situation it's required attention. But only when I have something really important to say.
Because even if I have something to complain of, or some argument to voice or so, I wait until his mind is in the right place, because I know he needs that, and when we fight, we are still aware that we love each other person and we want to fix the problems.
People are different, and some like to have their own small habits, you just need to respect that. And trust your partner some more. Also, fighting everyday is not okay. Take time to write on a paper everything that you feel, take your time writing it, and when you feel that you've poured everything out on it, take a moment to ask his attention to talk about it.
But never forget to also praise him for the good he does, and remind him why he's special and the one you chose to be with.
I hope this helps :)

Answer

My husband and I have started doing weekly check ins. We're trying to step away from nagging and complaining. If he says he can't talk about it every day or before bed, set up a time to talk with him about it.

Answer

My husband was annoyed that the only time I spoke to him about “issues” I was having with our relationship was right before bed. After I explained that that was the only time I really got to see him, he said he understood and now we talk before bed. Maybe try that?

Answer

Why do you tell him everyday what he does wrong? That's so demoralizing and not constructive in a relationship at all.
Maybe you guys should go for a couple of seasons of coupes counselling to learn to communicate.

Answer

Attacking him daily pushes him away. Talk about how you feel. What you are doing. Praise him for what he does good. 
We seem to check in with each other at the most random times. We are similar so we don’t fight or irritate each other. I tell him what I need more of. I never tell him he doesn’t give me sex often enough. I tell him that I would like to have sex more often.  I tell him that I understand that he is tired from not sleeping so I’m not mad at him. I understand with him that sex is not the only way he shows me he is attracted to me. 
What are you telling him he is doing wrong?  What are you criticizing him about?

Answer

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=AKTyPgwfPgg
I highly recommend watching this video. It’s on the Gorman method for couples counseling. Even if you don’t go to counseling this video is awesome at explaining how we communicate and different problems that can potentially come up.

Answer

Yeah some people are tired by the end of the day. Surprising isn’t it. I would give him the benefit of the doubt. The constant nagging from you will probably add to him not wanting to put in effort to talk or bond. So maybe cut him a break, and stop focusing on the bad he does. Compliment him and tell him all the good things about him you like. He could just be having a hard time.

Believable or nah?

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