How long?

Question

How long did it take anyone to get over their abortion? Months, Years? 
How did it change your lives? 
It changed mine

Answer

I had my surgical abortion 5 months ago. I don't regret my decision at all. The first 3 months after the surgery I was very depressed & had intense feelings of guilt. However I realized that everything I was feeling was normal. That's not to say I don't have feelings of guilt & sadness at random times.
 It's important to remember that just because you chose to have an abortion does not mean you shouldn't feel the way you do. Ask yourself; would you ever question the guilt/feelings of a woman who had a miscarriage? 
I can only speak for myself when I say that choosing to have an abortion was the hardest decision I ever made. I wanted my baby, but I knew that it would be incredibly selfish of me considering I could barely take care of myself.
Honestly its important to let yourself grieve. Why you may ask? Well, because at the end of the day you know your life could have been totally different with your baby in your life. It's ok to admit that & accept it for what it is. 
It takes a long time(months to years) for our body & mind to heal post-abortion. The key is to allow yourself to grieve however long it takes & remind yourself of all the reasons why choosing the abortion was right for you. Peace & love.

Answer

It’s been exactly one year this week. I had been with my fiancé for 6 years at that point. He convinced me it was the right decision since we could barely take care of ourselves at that time. I was 9 weeks. I did the pill and delivered it in a hotel bathroom. I saw it there in front of me. All ten fingers, all ten toes, you could see the eyes behind their eyelids. We stayed the weekend at the hotel waiting for the inevitable to happen (we were living with my parents and I didn’t want them knowing). I procrastinated for HOURS to take the second pill because I was so remorseful about taking the first pill and was wishing I could take it back. Not a single day goes by that I don’t think of them. That I don’t apologize to them. I still see their little body EVERY night when I close my eyes. To make matters worse, my fiancé and I are about to split up. I found out he’s been cheating for more than half of our relationship. Also, when I was talking to him about how I was feeling and how I wish I had just kept the baby, he told me I didn’t have a choice. That he pressured me to make the choice he wanted. I never felt pressured, I just felt he was being the voice of reason, so I told him I still felt I had a choice. He then looks me dead in the eye and very sternly says: “I made sure you FELT you still had a choice, but you really didn’t. We weren’t going to keep it”. I remember turning pale and I started shaking. I could have killed him right then. He says he gets sad about it and wonders what if, but I think that’s a lie.

Answer

I still have not gotten over mine. It's been a year since I had mine. I feel like I don't deserve to have another child because of my abortion. I had mine at 5wks. Everyday I get emotional about it.

Answer

Well over a year. Still not over it but at least my husband has apologized for pressuring me and we’re working on maintaining a healthier relationship. I don’t think the pain of a pressured abortion ever goes away.

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I’m not over mine. It was 9 months ago and my proposed due date is coming up. I think about it every day and I do regret my decision even though I know it was the right one. I am a college athlete with no income and even though I had supportive parents and significant other, it is so hard for me. I went to counseling and it helped but I stopped and my feelings came back. It is so hard for me to think about and I feel so guilty every day about it

Answer

Been 5 months since mine I was 8w and me and my partner were upset but we believed it was for the best as we were only 19 at the time and we wanted to make sure we could give the baby everything it came as such a shock and I don’t regret my decision but he was so supportive and we spoke about it after and he was there during it all, I’m getting there I have low days where I still think about it all 😔 x

Answer

I haven’t really gotten over mine, what makes matters worse is that after I had mine in the year of 2019. A couple of months after that and even going into the year of 2020 I heard of ppl I knew having babies, so I was distraught to say the least and I am also nervous to become pregnant again. I didn’t have the support of my family or my own mom and while I was in a weird spot at the time, I can now say I have a super supportive Boyfriend and who wants to build a life with me, who  wants to have children (not now but in the near future) and while this is all great I’m paranoid to become pregnant again.... I’m not even intimate with him that’s how nervous I am. Not sure if this “helps” this is how I feel and my experience. Still til this day I have a lot of emotions trying to get over it and get thur it daily. I struggle with having depression bc of it. 😔

Answer

It will be 2 years in May. And nothing has compared to that moment ever. Not all of 2020. Not the loss of my cat this year (though it brought back the memories.) My husband and I wanted the baby. We were prepared. We had supportive parents. But the baby was extremely sick. He could not urinate to make amniotic fluid. It had already scarred his kidneys. And was making his brain swell up. I was going to miscarry at 20 weeks reguardless.

Answer

I had one almost a year ago. It was something that was right to do at the time but I 100% regret it. Sometimes I get a little suicidal over it and think how could I just kill my own baby. I don’t deserve to live. I haven’t lived a day without it crossing my mind sense.

How long?

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