Stale

At first everything was fine. Sex wasn’t the best I’ve ever had but it definitely was fun enough to wanna come back for more. Now we’re a year into this steady relationship that sex isn’t even pleasurable for me anymore....i don’t know what else to do. Suggestions like adding toys and alot of foreplay all come to mind when I think of how to spice up our sex life but i have tried. Nothing fixes the issue enough for me to feel a difference. Sex used to be a form of release and something of a craving but now I don’t even care to have any. I’m running out of ideas.

Just today I guess my fertile window is on because I’m in the mood everyday but I’m not satisfied. But I put on my determined face and decided to climb on top of my SO as he sat in the dining room. I thought AWESOME!!! Let’s do it. It’s exciting. Sort of spontaneous (for us atleast) maybe change of scenery will help. He bends me over the table and it’s hard for ME on the bottom to get a grip, keep my balance, establish a rhythm that works for both of us, endure the pain that this glass table is digging into my thigh for the sake of motion and try to cum at the same time. So we move to the living room couch....I’m arched as hard as I can cause there’s a slight height difference and I’m holding myself up as best I can but he’s pushing my back down. It felt like he was gonna snap me in half so I’m literally fighting with all my strength to keep my stance on all fours strong but he’s slowly pushing and I’m falling off the couch....I told him to get off bc I can’t hold it. I said (now in retrospect I see I fucked all the way up) babe I can’t do this you’re too heavy and it’s making me fall....he snapped back “be strong then wtf” I suggested another position and he didn’t wanna do it anymore. He walked off and I went back to my work desk (I work from home)

Now we’re both unsatisfied. I don’t know how to approach this I feel like maybe communicating could open the lines of improvement but even then what ELSE can we possibly do. I know sex isn’t everything but it’s been stale for months and I feel like everything else is just keeps falling apart bc of it. Like everything correlates and stems from one another. And if this isn’t good....we’re not good. There’s a disconnect. If sex is bad then it leads to insecurity which leads to doubt which leads to panic which can lead to mistake and honestly I’m terrified