I can’t control my weight

Not “can’t” as in chemically unable, “can’t” as in, I’m a fat ass who can’t eat healthily for more than 2 days in a row.

I hate myself so much.

People will say weight doesn’t determine your worth, but I believe it does. Mostly because things like self control, discipline, and a WANT to take care of your body and your future actually DO determine your worth....and I have none of those. I just can’t seem to do it. At 50lbs overweight, Im miserable. I feel like I look like a man, and that I have no feminine qualities at this weight. I don’t even know how my husband can still say he finds me attractive.

I just wish I could do better.