I came on here to vent and make myself feel better because once again your trying to belittle me and make me feel small...well dad, I think I’m finally done. I’m finally done looking for your love and approval! I don’t care if your mad at me and at this point I don’t even care if you wanted to try to make things right. I don’t care to pretend like you didn’t say harmful words every morning because guess what..you DID. And things you say mean something. I’ve kept my mouth shut out of knowing that I need to be respectful to you but I can respect you and still not have anything to do with you. So when I make you feel invisible to me like you have made me feel all those times...don’t sit back and wonder why. Because you KNOW why. I’m not chasing a relationship with you anymore and even if I could have one..I don’t want it anymore. I don’t want to be around you. I don’t want to talk to you. I don’t want to look at you. I don’t want to think about you. I just want to navigate the world without someone trying to make it that much harder for me. I never and would never treat a person like you have treated me. You really hurt me tonight. I’m shaking all over because I’m so hurt and angry. But typical me I do this alone and I never show you the repercussions of your energy. Well. That’s done. Im not pushing it down and faking my smile tomorrow morning when you ask about work. I have half a mind to not even answer you. And you wonder why I have anxiety. Because you fucked with my head and now I try to protect myself by thinking about every next move. Like you just saw I’m already thinking about how I’m going to react tomorrow and I haven’t even slept the night away yet. And with my anxiety who knows if I’ll have the balls to have my own back come morning. I’m a very forgiving person and I move on too fast and I don’t hold people accountable and that’s probably my dads fault too. I know holding him accountable won’t do anything so why try. Now I let anyone and everyone close enough to hurt me and still feel shocked when they do just that. I will fight against you even if my mom won’t. My moms gone and mind fucked by you and now she’s just a shell of who she could be. But you don’t like people knowing they are worth anything huh. My poor mom. She could leave and find someone who actually treats her right. But she will stay because she doesn’t feel like she could do it. Even though she had the house and bought the car when you two first met. She got you on your feet. She gave you a job and now you hold that very job that makes money over her head? Who the FUCK do you think you are? Without her you’d still be a homeless nobody drinking himself in and out of prison. Oh but that’s right YOUR FUCKING KING and we all need to be quiet and do what you say. Little does my dad know, he needs to learn HIS FUCKING PLACE because with the kind of person he is, money is the only reason everyone hasn’t left him high and dry to love all of his money all by his miserable self. I need to make it in life so I can get out of here and take my mom with me before we really are nothing from his constant abuse.