“I feel like I have to poop!!” —my birth story (long)

That sentence will be forever engraved in my mind 😄

I’m pretty late sharing my birth story, as I had my baby in August, but I was recently thinking about it and I just want to share my experience :)

I was scheduled for an elective induction Sunday August 11th because I was going to be 39 weeks and my OB was favorable towards being induced at 39 wks, so I agreed... until I canceled the day before, Saturday. I didn’t have any medical reason to be induced so I wanted to try to go into labor naturally.

So that week I had my regular prenatal apt, August 13th. When they measured my fundal height, it was lower than what it should be at 39 weeks. So she sent me to L&D to get an ultrasound—if all was good, then I would be scheduled for induction Sunday August 18th because I didn’t want to go past my due date (my personal choice.) If there was something else, I would have to stay and have a baby!

I will fast forward all of this or else it’d be the longest post ever. Being in a hospital is a lot of waiting, waiting, and waiting.

Long story short, I got an ultrasound and after a long while, a nurse handed over me the hospital phone and it was my OB with the results of the ultrasound.

My heart sank a little.

She told me that my baby wasn’t growing how she should be, that she measured at 36 weeks (she mentioned percentiles but I don’t really remember), which indicated a problem with the placenta. My OB’s husband works in the same profession and they both agreed that it would more of a risk if my baby stayed inside than out. So that meant, I was staying to have a baby.

I did say my heart sank a little, because I didn’t imagine hearing such news because everything had gone so well during my pregnancy. But I didn’t let that fear me. I usually get super nervous and flee from a situation I don’t want to be in (but I obviously can’t do that pregnant lol).

I’m a believer and I prayed and prayed everyday for this day. I prayed for a courage that I longed to have. To not have fear control my life anymore. And that overall, my baby is healthy and I also have a steady, healthy recovery.

At 3 pm I was wheeled into the delivery room. 3:30 I was induced and given my antibiotics because I was tested positive for GBS. I was filled with so many emotions—this is where my daughter and I will first meet! How will contractions feel like? How long will I be in labor? But I kept a determined, positive mindset.

In that entire time my mom was with me so I wasn’t alone.

At 4:30 I felt the contractions build up. Just as a lot of women said, they felt like intense period cramps just building and building; the ones I would take an Advil for as i cried in bed in pain.

But I didn’t want to waste my energy and strength by squirming in pain. I watched labor videos before and one thing they talked a lot about was breathing and “happy” hormones. So I breathed through the contractions and didn’t let myself tense up. Honestly, this helped tremendously! I know it’s easier said than done, but for me, it was mind over matter. But I know every experience is different, this is what worked for me.

By about 6 the contractions were full on. No more “dull” period cramps. (This was my google search 😆)

These are contractions, no missing it. And by that time my husband and sister arrived and my mom left. She doesn’t like hospitals and my husband and sister were the ones I wanted with me and I’m so glad they were!

At about 7, two nurses came in to check on me. I was 7 cm dilated and about 90% effaced! They told me if by 8 pm my water hadn’t broken yet, they’d break it for me. And that’s what they did.

When they left the room after breaking my water, my husband and sister prayed for me, because my sister knew this is where things REALLY pick up. She played music and I got out of bed, moved around, kept breathing through the contractions, stood up—anything to just keep myself busy. I refused to lie in bed.

Then a nurse came in and asked how I was doing.

“Um, what are we waiting for?” I ask her. (Hey, this is my first!)

“Whenever you feel it’s time,” she tells me.

“How do I know?!”

My sister tells me when I have this really bad urge to poop. They said other things but that’s what stuck on my mind.

Literally guys, like 2 minutes later I’m standing up, holding onto a desk and my legs are tangled together and I cry, “I feel like I have to poop!” I really did! It felt like I was trying to hold in a huuuuge turd (lol sorry).

My sister calls in the nurse and they check me. I was 9, 9.5 cm dilated at 100% effaced. (I believe it was about 9 pm at this point)

She told me to not get out of bed, she was going to call my OB, and try not to push. (Yes i know, that can be pretty dumb to say—if my body is ready, I can’t force it to not push!) but I wanted my OB there!

My body would atomically push with each contraction and I would try to hold it. I was quiet during all of my contractions, but now time I was grunting.

HURRY UP!!!!!!!!

Like an eternity later my OB runs through the door, hurriedly puts these plastic bags on her feet and says, “I almost got into 2 accidents and you look so much more calm than I do!!”

She begins to prep me, explain to me what to do, and I remember like half of what she says. There was so much going on.

“So whenever you’re ready.”

My husband and sister hold my legs up and fan me. The first contraction came and as I pushed she counted to ten and I stopped and took a moment and waited for the other contraction to come in. This went on several times.

There was a moment I began to doubt. I pushed and did these intense grunting sounds, I felt it almost there, and they were saying “keep going keep going, she’s almost here” but nothing. I wondered if I was capable of doing this. What if something goes wrong? What if I never push her out?

But I wasn’t going to let those doubts get to me anymore. I was determined.

I’m sure you’ve heard of the “ring of fire” and oh boy, that is exactly how it feels.

It was the most intense pain, stretching, work I’ve ever done. At one point I began to push with more of my upper body and I got so red, my sister told me not to push with my face, to use my lower body.

To explain the best I can, it was like trying to push out the biggest, hardest poop out of a small hole. (Also note: I had no epidural. This was natural.)

Until finally, at 9:37 pm, I felt this gush of everything just coming out—this huuuuge relief when that poop finally comes out (lol)—and hearing “She’s here! She’s here!”

My eyed were shut closed the entire time and I had always imagined hearing my baby’s cry right when she came out, but there wasn’t a cry. They said she was here but I didn’t hear anything. It scared me at first. Until I opened my eyes and saw her, my beautiful baby girl on my chest.

And I cried. Out of joy, out of pain, out of exhaustion, out of relief—it was a cry with so many emotions I will never forget it.

The first thing that came to my mind when i saw her was how I would do that all over again to have her.

I remember asking my mom and sister if they still felt pain after the baby was born, and I can say that once I saw and held my baby, I had no remembrance of the pain. It was the hardest, most beautiful thing my body has done.

The time I was being stitched, my baby was being cleaned, and preparing to go into my room, the nurses congratulated me and kept saying how proud they were of me. Not to sound “braggy” but they said I was one of the best patients and to come again for my second 😆 girl we are not talking about the second right now!

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My personal choice was to do this natural without an epidural. (Absolutely NO offense to anyone has gotten one! We’re all amazing, strong mamas who have brought these beautiful lives into the world and into our arms 👏🏼❤️ I applaud YOU moms!) As a personal choice, I’m SO proud of myself. Yes, my labor was not super long (6 hrs), but knowing how fearful and anxious I can be, that day I had a courage that I longed to have and I’m so thankful to God and all the support I received that day!

Looking at the hospital papers, it said I was induced due to “Intrauterine growth restriction.” But my baby will be 3 months next week and she’s growing how she should be, gaining weight, and learning new things everyday! ☺️💞 my heart is so full!

(Sorry for a long post! If your read all of this, you deserve a prize 🏅)