I’m lost

So, I recently got out of a toxic relationship that hald lasted over a year. That was my first relationship I’ve ever had. Lately, I’ve been trying to re connect with myself; I’ve felt that I lost a lot of myself in the relationship I was previously in. Ive been trying to be optimistic and shit, but honestly I’ve just been drinking about 2-3 times a week for about two months and my nicotine addiction has gotten worse lol. With university and work, i usually spend my weekdays drinking coffee and eating terribly throughout the week, and some days I can barley make it to work at a decent time. Idk, I’m genuinely worried about my physical health since I can feel my body getting tired more easily with little things like walking around campus or walking up the stairs, but despite that, honestly all I look forward to is getting drunk with my friends. It sounds horrible but that’s really all I look forward to. I’ve tried to meet new people on tinder, but I feel like I can’t connect with them because I feel like I’ve lost myself. I put so much of myself into a relationship that ended up fucking me over. Some days I just start to believe I’m selfish and a piece of shit cos that’s what my ex used to tell me. The only time I feel like I’m worth it is when I’m drinking. This is lowkey a cry for help lol, alcoholism runs in my family and I’m worried, but I haven’t found anything that motivates me. I feel worthless, I feel like I could never become a neuropsychologist because I’m lazy, and idk man shits just rough. I’m not sure if anyone will read this far, but if u do, please help lol. I’ve started going to group therapy and I feel like I should talk about this, but every session I go to, I feel so selfish and embarrassed to open up about this. I started going to group therapy cos I knew I needed help, but I can’t help but feel that I’m so weak and insignificant that my problems don’t matter anyway.