I have posted before about how 2 years ago my fiance raped me while I was passed out drunk and tried to put an object inside me then recorded it.

Lately, I would say honestly since I found the videos again about a month after my daughter was born- I've been really struggling with it. So much life has happened since that night and I honestly feel so guilty that it is just NOW bothering me so much. I have enrolled in counseling and I have tried to talk to my fiance about it so many times. He refuses to call it rape. He says that "he wanted me so bad and yeah took advantage of the situation, but not rape". He said it is cruel and fucked up of me to not have a problem until 2 years later. He said it is mean that I wanted the videos for evidence. He said "honestly if you think I'm a rapist then f*** you" or "I'm sorry you feel that way".

I am so beyond hurt. I cant even find the words. He is making me feel like my feelings dont matter at all