Has anyone decided not to breastfeed due to sexual trauma?

Question

Possible trigger warning. No details though. I really hate when women shame moms for not breastfeeding. There are so many reasons why women choose not to breastfeed. I have sexual trauma in my past and although I know that breastfeeding is not sexual I just can’t stand having someone that close to me. I have really bad sensory problems because of what happened to me and I just can’t deal with the feeling of it. Breastfeeding literally makes me want to rip off my skin and causes me an instant anxiety attack. I love my kids and I take care of them well. Yes they’re formula fed, my oldest isn’t a baby anymore and is thriving. So please next time you want to ask a mom why she doesn’t breastfeed or force your opinion down her throat, instead just keep that thought to yourselves because she obviously had her reasons for not doing it. Poll because I wanted to see if anyone else had experienced the same issues due to past sexual trauma. It makes me feel really alone and I don’t like talking to people in person about it.

Answer

No need to get so defensive.  I have never seen anyone here do anything but encourage moms to do what’s best for them.  If moms want help with breastfeeding, it’s offered, if they want help with weaning, no matter the age, it’s offered.  If they want help exclusively pumping, or advice on formula feeding, it’s all offered. 
I know some formula feeding moms feel like every breastfeeding mom is judging them, but it’s really not like that.  Most of us don’t really care how you feed your child, we’re just passionate about how we feed ours.  I switched to formula at 6 months with my first and I can say, I’ve faced FAR more vocal criticism when I breastfeed vs when I formula fed.

Answer

I don't see people shove breastfeeding down anyone's throat on here. I always see fed is best which is true. I never see anyone in person do that either.

Answer

I don't want to offend you by saying this but I've been in your shoes. Im not trying to pressure you either so please do what you have to do mama. I too have endured horrible trauma sexual and physical abuse. I also go a lot of snide remarks about breastfeeding from female family members. I breastfed when my son was first born and I ended up exclusively pumping for a few weeks. I got tired of pumping and decided to give it antry again and breastfeeding actually helped with the trauma and not wanting to be close or affectionate which I still struggle with today except for with my baby and sometimes husband.  I kinda had to reteach myself  normal affection vs unwanted and breastfeeding was the best example of it. Especially not associating all touch as sexual or reacting to ptsd.  Now I don't want to stop and he's a year and a half. It's not sexual at all. If anything I feel very womanly, powerful and invincible. It helped me take ownership of my body. Especially going through the ups and downs and connecting with women as it does what it's designed for because breastfeeding is very hard at first honestly and I didn't even have the complications some women have. Bless you  for being so honest and open about the struggle of sexual trauma and womanhood/motherhood. I pray for you and your little one. All will be fine regardless of how you feed your baby.

Answer

That’s totally fair and a good reason not to breastfeed

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It astounds me what people feel is okay to say to moms or to ask them. There are so many reasons for different decisions. I used to think that those who formula fed just didn’t want to breastfeed. I didn’t realize that some women physically or mentally can’t. I never questioned anyone on it though. If your baby/child is healthy, that’s what matters! I’m sorry you had that past experience.

Answer

I've seen some women shame one mom either on here or somewhere else (I don't remember) because she wanted to have an elective c-section instead of a vaginal delivery. There were some mean comments saying that vaginal is best. She later added that she wanted to do a c-section because she was traumatized from a past sexual assault. So I'm sorry if you've ever been shamed for that. I think you're absolutely right when it comes to a mother's decision, we have to be careful with what we say because we don't know their circumstances and reasoning behind their choices.

Has anyone decided not to breastfeed due to sexual trauma?

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