Is 4 years with someone a big deal?

Question

Okay girls, I need opinions because I don’t know whether what I’m currently thinking is acceptable or not lol 
So it was mine and my boyfriend’s 4 year anniversary the other day. We agreed in advance no gifts and that we’d go out for dinner. We are travelling and spending a lot of money on moving around and seeing new places etc and it was also his bday recently so I spent a lot on that. So I was totally fine with no gifts because actually that’s not really necessary is it. 
I was just thinking, am I silly for thinking 4 years is a big deal and maybe he could’ve done at least something small? And I don’t mean buying me something, I mean like writing a cute note or something small because he knows I love those kinda things. And we used to celebrate each year together and now it felt a bit weird.
He’s not the most romantic guy but like on the day of it he shared a pic of a car we rented but he wouldn’t write anything about us? Lol 
He’s not the one to post all the time but he’s done it in the past. And he will post stupid stuff about cars and football but nothing that will acknowledge he’s been with me for years 😂
And I know posting online doesn’t necessarily mean he didn’t care because it’s just the internet but again, I know he knows I care about these things. It just would’ve been nice to know he’s still happy with me etc, you know stuff like that. Even if it was left in my notes on my phone. Just some gesture 😂
What do you guys think?

Answer

I think because you guys said “no gifts” ahead of time, he really took it as no gifts. If it bothers you you should talk to him about it, but I think he just took your agreement as literal.

Answer

I get it and it sucks but some guys just aren’t into that stuff. Maybe since you agreed on no gifts, he took it literal. My ex was the same and we were together for 5 years. He didn’t like the social media presence and felt there’s different ways to show appreciation

Answer

It’s hard, but even if he’s done it in the past that doesn’t mean he’ll do it now. While we girls think that guys would assume that they should do something sweet and romantic, that’s probably the last thing going through his head. Especially if we’ve already agreed to celebrate with dinner and leave it at that. It’s kinda like how when guys ask us if we’re okay, the moment we tell them “I’m fine” (even tho we all know that’s the furthest thing from the truth) they don’t bother pushing it anymore. They listen to what we say not what we mean.

Answer

Everyone has different love languages. Maybe he hasn’t realized yours and you should have a conversation about it!

Answer

Best way to get him to start doing things like that is to do it for him. Soon it'll because a routine and a habit and he will start to put thought into the little things.

Answer

We've been together for five years and we never got each other anniversary gifts.  My love language is not gifts so I could care less. We are more about touch, words, and quality time. 
But if gifts and cards are important for you just talk to him. And not once, but keep reminding him. I don't care about gifts but I loove cards and sweet notes. I write them for him for every occasion. And after five years he finally wrote me a birthday card even though he used to never care about them and never got me one before!! 
I told him that I love cards enough times that after five years he finally understood the beauty of it 😁

Answer

I think he just took the no gifts things in every way. He probably didn't think oh well I'll do a note cuz that is not a gift. Also I been with my man 6 years and there is not one picture or mention of me on his social media and I don't care. I know he is with me and loves me I don't care if he doesn't blast me out on social media. I would not worry about it too much, unless you feel like you guys are not in a good spot.

Answer

I agree the 4 years is a big deal, granted I’ve never even made it to 1 year in a relationship. However you did say no gifts and he may have taken that as literally not doing anything, not as “no buying things”.

Answer

Boys take everything very literally, if you both said no gifts he probably thinks that means nothing at all big or small.

Is 4 years with someone a big deal?

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