Boyfriends beard ruining sex life?

I’ve had several discussions with my boyfriend about his beard and cleaning it up or keeping it close cut. I used to really like his beard then little by little he just stopped maintaining it or his hair In General. grooming in general is slowly becoming an issue. When I met him he was very well taken care of nice haircuts, longer but well taken care of beard and mustache, always dressed nice(clean not holey shirt or flannel, nice jeans shoes) . Over the course of 4 years he just doesn’t care anymore I even have to tell him to brush his teeth now like he’s a child and I hate it. His beard is always unkempt and to me gross I’ve paid several times for him to get a hair cut or scheduled appointments for him and at first he liked it now he complains, I’ve bought him nice clothes over the years he doesn’t wear them at all. Hed rather wear hole filled shirts. His beard has gotten to the point I hate kissing him and would really prefer not to... I don’t like having sex with him and feeling it touch me it automatically puts me out of the mood and I have to focus on having sex instead of just being in the moment... it truly grosses me out. Which makes me feel awful. he doesn’t get hair cuts anymore either I’ve asked him all month to get a hair cut he says he knows and does nothing. We have our baby shower this weekend and I don’t like going out in public with someone who does t take care of themselves my friends and coworkers make fun of me because of how he looks. His appearance and lack of effort in hygiene and care makes me not want to be with him. He washes his body and changes clothes and all that but when it comes to his hair, beard teeth and not dressing like a bum it’s an issue meanwhile he’s always trying to make me wear dresses or out in make up. What do I do? At this point I’m tired of having discussions about it and feeling bad for how I feel. I don’t want to force him to do anything he doesn’t want to but I also don’t want to make myself uncomfortable to please him.