Ok so. I've literally just changed my mind about something I've been trying to do off and on for 2 years. So I have never really fell in love except for once but I was very young and he was very abusive. I've been trying to have a baby w this friend of mine. Like literally he was gonna get me pregnant and he was gonna just be the uncle type figure instead of the dad and id be the one taking care of the baby 24 7 bc I thought I wanted something that needed me. & the weirdest thing ever made me realize that's not even close to true. I am re watching the walking dead and I'm on season 2 where lori just threw up the morning after pills and Ricks like Wtf and idk that conversation & the way he looked at her just kinda made something click in me. I don't want something that needs me I want someone who loves me . And who wants me. Wow. I'm in a way glad I couldn't conceive all this time an had 4 miscarriages. It wasn't the right time. I was doing it for the wrong reason. A baby deserves two parents who love each other and who love the baby. And it's honestly so selfish of me to wanna bring a life into this world to fulfill my own emptiness.

Anyway lmao had a whole life changing realization here🤣