We only retrieved 7 eggs yesterday- only 4 were mature and only 3 fertilized. I feel like someone’s punched me in the stomach. I’m angry at my RE for maybe being too conservative with stims (and we’re paying out of pocket for this... I feel like we should have been more aggressive!) and I’m angry at my body for letting me down again... 20 months of trying, recurrent early losses, a lower AMH and reserve for someone my age... I officially feel old and hopeless. I know my odds aren’t looking too great from here... we are doing PGS... so the odds that these 3 will make it to blast and even then be genetically normal... I don’t even wanna think about it anymore. I feel like all the stims and early AM bloodwork and physical and mental exhaustion and being berated by my manager at work has been for nothing. And I refuse to go through this again. My doctors and nurses were so hopeful that I’d have lots of embryos... nope. I don’t know what to do... I feel so pessimistic and I’m dreading the call that none made it. All the hope has been sucked out of me during this horrendous process of ttc.