Torn on what to feel
So I am a person who never really drinks it’s just not my thing and nothing tastes very good to me but I’m not against it every once in awhile. Well me and my boyfriend went out to a bar and had some drinks and I’m quite a light weight so it didn’t take me long to feel it. Well we were having a good time and it’s something I never do and I was with him and we were going to Uber home safely so I felt good about it. The next morning I wake up with a big hang over and my boyfriend tells me how I passed out last night but he still had sex with me. He told me like it was a casual story and almost in a joking way and it made my stomach roll. Even though he is my boyfriend that doesn’t mean I want him having sex with me when I’m passed out? The thought of it still makes me feel gross and I feel like I don’t have a right to feel bad about it. I’m guilty for getting that drunk with him but I didn’t think he would ever do that and it’s something people my age do all the time...but it’s made me look at him completely different. I don’t want to say rape but that’s honestly how it felt considering I only remembered getting into our Uber to go home and the rest is gone to me. We have had consensual sex obviously prior to this but this didn’t feel up to me and I feel like I have been taken advantage of by someone I loved and trusted. This is something I will keep to myself but it’s something I needed to vent about somewhere because I have no one close to me that I feel like I can share this with.