Would you want your spouse to tell you if they thought you were getting overweight or unhealthy?

Question

Just wondering. If your partner was concerned over your health like you were gaining a lot of weight, eating unhealthy, not getting any exercise would you want them to tell you how they felt and voice their concerns? I would. Obviously in a nice way though lol not going through this I’m just wondering how others feel

Answer

Yeah I told my husband i thought he was looking a little overweight once. He has a history of childhood obesity too (he was extremely unhealthily overweight from ages like 10-15) and he had very poor eating and exercise habits back then so his weight would tend to fluctuate a bit. But I pointed it out only when it seemed to be consistently high, and I was watching him eat like crap and never exercise.
He’s 5’8” and at the time I pointed it out he weighed himself and apparently was almost 200lbs. He cut out sugar, went low-carb, and started working out 3-4 times a week. He lost 30lbs in the first few months but then plateaued. So for Christmas I got him a few sessions with a personal trainer that I knew he wanted to go to but couldn’t justify the expense to himself.
Within the year he had lost 50lbs and suddenly loved exercise and developed healthier eating habits. It’s been 2 years since then now, and he is currently at 4% body fat and in the best shape of his life. He feels so much better both mentally and physically.
As much as I think he resented me for the “hey, you’re looking a little overweight...” at the time, he can’t stop thanking me for it now lol.

Answer

Unhealthy, yes. Overweight, no. Not unless it was affecting their health.
I've told my husband plenty of times if I feel his habits are unhealthy (if he eats too much in one sitting, if he eats too much fried food, etc).

Answer

Nah, I gained a lot of weight this year due to medical problem after medical problem. I went from working out 5 days a week to not being able to work out at all due to surgery downtime and long term sickness. I know I’ve gained weight, I’d prefer for him not to point it out.

Answer

If they were concerned, yes. If they were doing it out of anger or just trying to make you upset, that’s a whole other issue

Answer

As the one that was overweight my whole life and had to hear it from doctors and family. The last person that I would want making me feel bad or insecure or ashamed would be the person I was with. Weight loss as with anything else drinking, drugs etc  has to come from the person wanting to change for themselves. Can’t force them. There are nicer ways of doing things. If the person I was seeing said hey let’s start taking walks together it will be fun, romantic etc. ok I would be open to it. If the guy got me a gym membership and said hey you are getting fat I would tell him to kiss my butt. People have to see something is a real problem before they truly want to address it. For me I lost almost 100 pounds on my own. My mother never could get me to stick to anything. It came from me. It was my way of keeping myself busy to get over an ex. That was my initial reason. I’m dating a guy now he’s a diabetic he’s over weight and WAS losing weight before he took a Disney vacation for Halloween. I asked him what did you have for dinner at work tonight? He said pizza and Mac and cheese. My first thought was aren’t you a diabetic and what happened to the diet dude but I didn’t say that. My reply was comfort food? Is everything ok? And no it wasn’t, they had a big meeting and they wanted to fire all the managers and start fresh. I guess he liked one of that that was flexible and now things are going to be more difficult. A lot of us use food as a way to cope. Emotional eating, bored eating. I was the queen of it. I give him credit he’s very secure in his body. He loves to be naked. Wishes he could walk around that way. Me on the other hand with loose skin from weight loss am not as confident. But back to the topic. If you truly wanted to get the family healthier try making healthier options. Hiding food or making them a closet eater doesn’t help either. It’s finding a balance. Finding alternatives. Saying hey I want to start eating healthier will you do it with me and support me. If you target them or embarrass them etc they will resent you. It’s how you do things. Maybe not eat out as much. Or pack their lunches and leave love notes and encouraging messages on a post it. Never belittle or embarrass. It’s how you say things. Saying do you really want to eat that or looks of disgust, not cool. My mother is my trigger. Caused all of those things. Closet eating. Binge eating every eating disorder, emotional eating. And even after losing almost 100 pounds she still calls me fatass daily. And I will randomly catch myself going to the fridge and I have to stop myself and repeat over and over she’s not worth it. Everyone is sensitive about something. Something that give them identity and makes them feel better about themselves or insecurity that they hide and cover up their imperfections or avoidance or embarrassment. Be patient with them. Don’t judge them.

Answer

Yes. It would drastically hurt my pride, but I need to know that sort of thing. It’d also help if he recommended things I could do or if he could be my moral support.

Answer

If I'm just a little chunky- no. 
If im legitimately becoming overweight and health becomes a concern- absolutely. When it comes to my health, my husband plays almost as much of a role in it as I do and vice versa. He's there to tell me if a mole on my back has changed, or there's a lump on my neck that I can't see, or if there's a concern with my mental health that I'm passing off. Weight is no different. Sometimes we don't notice, or are quicker to write off as no big deal, things about ourselves that might be a legitimate concern, and it's nice to have an extra set of eyes and an extra voice sometimes

Answer

Yes. We've talked about this and agreed that we would both want the other to tell us.

Answer

Yes

Answer

I’ve always said yes, and I chose yes on the poll but I will be totally transparent & say that I’ve seen friends gain weight and not say anything. I know a friend is different from a spouse, but the point I’m trying to make is that I don’t know a nice way of telling someone they’re gaining weight if they can’t see it for their self 😩 sooooooo with that being said, I hope this never happens

Would you want your spouse to tell you if they thought you were getting overweight or unhealthy?

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