Life can be amazing one day and suck the next. Everyday I put on a mask I smile and tell everyone I'm fine but in reality Im hurting. I lost my son after birth in 2017 and the one thing I remember the most is the last hard breath he took. He was 9 pounds 21 inches long n perfect. I took hundreds of pictures, do you know how hard it is to try to fill a life time of memories in 1 day? I made sure my hubby and kids were fine. I cried in the shower (still do) everyone thinks I've grieved but I haven't. I think about him everyday all day. We've sense had a rainbow baby n cried when i found out it was another boy(I felt so guilty). My lil rainbow has been a blessing but i still feel guilt and I hate when people say I need to get over the loss of my son because I have my rainbow baby (One child doesn't replace the other). I find myself thinking how does a person grieve? Where am I in this process? I just feel lost.