Here to vent cause I’m really feeling it today.

My little is 4 weeks old. I’m a FTM and feel very blessed to have my rainbow baby after several miscarriages. I love being a mom and just absolutely love my baby.

But I’m feeling overwhelmed. I was supposed to have family come up this week to help out (we live an hour from friends and family) I was so excited to finally have people I love and trust help me out so I could get some rest ... I haven’t had any quality of sleep and I know that’s part of this process but it’s really starting to pay its toll. I’m exclusively breastfeeding and that’s been a challenge itself in the sense i haven’t been able to pump and only feed so I’m essentially the only one who can feed the baby. Which when I need a break I keep thinking I’ll break and give formula but don’t want to. My family got sick or have been around sick people so they aren’t coming. My husband was very helpful the first few weeks but now I feel like he goes to work, he comes home, he makes dinner, holds the baby for an hour then it’s back to me to feed. He sees me getting frustrated at night constantly waking up and making sure the baby is fed and changed.

I don’t know I’m not asking for anything just venting. I feel run down and all I want is to be the best I can for my baby and I don’t feel like I’m doing that