Regret

I got my tubes removed(Salpingectomy) on Monday though I had mixed feelings about it from the start. My husband refused getting a vasectomy so I once again sacrificed myself. My labors Were dangerous for all 3 of my pregnancies and I needed to make sure that I wouldn’t loose my life because of another pregnancy. Recovery should have been 48 hours with just some soreness. I on the other hand experienced hemorrhaging with my right side and it has become a bigger situation than I expected. I regret having this done and I’m starting to resent my husband. He’s cheated on me emotionally several times throughout our marriage but I always chose to forgive him and stay. We’ve been through so much and this situation has made me look at him in a whole different way. I see a selfish man who only cares about his needs. I know this is who he has always been and I feel so stupid for accepting him all this time but I can’t turn any of it around now. I’ve never felt so much pain in my life and the worse part is pain for something I didn’t want to go through. What hurts me more is when I ask him for help, he does it not wanting too. It’s sad to think that maybe this will put the end to our marriage. I feel deep down that even though it was done because of my health that I really did it to not give him another child.

Sorry just venting. I feel like I’m falling into a deep depression because of this situation and plus I just got my period which wasn’t due for another week. Here’s my beautiful recovery picture. All joy.....