Today I almost killed my babies. It was the scariest moment of my life. I lost control of the car going 30miles on a 55mile road. The car slipped on ice, and I couldn’t recover. There was a car coming in the opposite direction, and a deep ditch area in mine. I couldn’t straighten the car, so I ended up flying over the hill. I thought the car was going to roll. I’d hit a mile marker, I ran into a barn wired fence.

Both of my babies were in the back seat. The car was smoking when I get out of it. I called my husband with shaking hands because he wasn’t too far away, but he was on the road too. I pulled my two year old out, and he fed off of my negative energy and started freaking out too. I ran over to the other side and pulled my two month old out. I couldn’t hold both babies at the same time, but I tried.

A nice few men stopped to help out. I don’t know where my mind was at, but I handed my two month old to this stranger while I climbed up the grassy hill holding my crying toddler. I almost fell back down a couple of times. One of the other men took him from me so I could make it up, and the third man took my hand to help pull me.

I wasn’t dressed for snow, because I was only driving to drop my son off at daycare. My shoes were drenched in mud and snow. I was shaking. I kept thinking about what a horrible driver I was. I endangered my babies to go to daycare. There was less than one inch of snow on the ground, and I let that fool me I guess.

I called 911, but I didn’t know where I was at. The road I was on is a back county road that covers several cities. I didn’t know the address of the house whose backyard my car was in.

My husband arrived by using my phone locator. I am so glad it was on because my directions were literally ‘just past the bridge and my car is in the container guys yard’. Yeah... I suffered hard aftermath. When he got out he took the babies and held them while I’m sitting in his car. It took me a little bit to realize that he didn’t have car seats I. That car and would not be coming back.

I thanked the men who’d helped me, and sat in my husbands car, waiting for the police. I held my son, and as soon as my husband went to check on my car, I sobbed like I had never sobbed before.

I almost killed my babies. My precious children who aren’t even old enough to understand the joy life can bring. My sweet boys who have no choice but to trust me with their lives.

I’m terrified to drive now.

One of the hardest things to hear, was when my husband said, ‘I almost lost my whole family.’