I just want to rant for a second, as this post will likely be anonymous for my own security/anxiety purpose.

I found out I was about 5 weeks along on october 22, 2019. The tests came back more positive than I've ever seen a test come out, which was odd for me knowing i couldn't be THAT far along. I never really found out why it did that, but in just 3 days, my world just fell. I found out at 6pm, 3 hours into my work shift that night, that my HGc levels had gone from a 4ish week level, to not even being sensed on the tests. I was heartbroken. What happened? What did I do wrong, and how is that fair? My husband and I were devastated and all I could do was hold my belly and cry for what would've been.

After about a week and a half after this, I took another, realizing I had been feeling a bit off from how I usually feel. I just sat in awe as that little line popped up on that test again. I didnt get my Hope's up, as j realized I may still have a faint amount of HGc still in my system, but I didnt think there would be anywhere near enough to catch it on a test. I was devastated, knowing that all it was, was just a faint/false positive.

I just want to feel my little one growing inside of me, i want to wake up every single morning throwing up until it hurts me. I want to know that I will be giving birth to a little miracle and I want to have all those nasty side effects women complain about. I understand I will probably complain, but I will forever be upset to see pregnant women posting about how horrid pregnancy is, when some may have friends with fertility issues.

Anyways, I just know December will be my month. Between the vitamins i recently started taking, the OPK tests, and an overwhelming amount of hope, I just know, its gotta be my month

I recently started taking lots of vitamins, I've dropped the cigarettes, I'm expecting a OP/Preg Test Kit today.