I’ve always been so in love with God and everything he’s done for me. He gave me the most wonderful husband that sometimes I don’t think I deserve but blessed to have. Lately for the past couple months at least have been so hard for me. We went to a fertility doctor and found out I don’t even ovulate and they will be doing test to see if my Tubes are open and he’s getting tested on the 5th. And I’m just so scared out of my mind that the outcomes won’t be great. We’ve been trying for almost two years. And lately I just have this weight on my heart I’ve don’t something to upset God and he just doesn’t think I’m good enough to be a mom. I know I’m overreacting but this week it’s just how I feel I’m crying and prayer harder and harder everyday and it’s like no ones hearing me, Gods a million miles away and I don’t know how to not be upset about this. I feel he’s toying with my heart, just this week two people in my life gave birth and three just announced their pregnancy and I see babies all day long I just don’t know how to make my heart whole again to get back to a positive mood. I just have wanted this so long in my life and it’s scaring me it’ll never happen for us unless we have to take a very expensive route. I’m just so stressed and just need prayers. I need to have my faith in God it’s just getting harder and harder the days that go by, and with the holidays I think just make it worse.