What to say to someone with anxiety

Question

Hi! I always see posts about what not to say to someone when they’re having an anxiety/panic attack, so what DO you say? My husband currently suffers from one once a week about work and I just don’t know what to say. (Also currently 36w pregnant and he keeps saying things like he feels like he’s failed me). Thank you!

Answer

Just let him know you are there for him, you love him, how great he is, how blessed you are to have him. Speak this to him even when he isn’t having an attack. It can help reassure him and maybe lessen the attacks when he does have them.

Answer

There’s an app called calm, that really helps me! And also there’s a lot of breathing techniques to do together so when your breathing is steady it helps the other persons to stabilise, which I always find helps to calm me down when I know I’m breathing ok 🙂

Answer

Also, a side note. These are all women talking. It may be different for men. Maybe, sounds funny, but google what may work for a guy going thru an attack. They may need something else entirely.

Answer

For me I just need someone to listen and be there. Not try to talk me thru anything. Just say things like I’m listening or go on or simply not try to interject when I’m finally talking about it. Most the time I know I’m being irrational but I still need to say my piece or I won’t be able to process it. 
A lot of times once it’s over I’m able to go back to normal and I feel better about whatever was triggering it. Lots of hugs and physical closeness (not sex) help me know my husband isn’t gunna leave after an attack despite whatever I said. 
Hope this helps!

Answer

I don’t really want my husband to say anything to me when I’m going through it. I’d rather him either be there for me to just listen or to give me the chance to step away (from the kids and house ect) for a little bit so I can take a mental break and get myself back where I need to be. I work through it best alone. I get super irritable and I do not want to put my husband through that because I know how I’m being isn’t ok but o literally can’t help it in that moment so I’d rather step away for an hour, ground myself and get my mind back on track before interacting with anybody.

Answer

I would first ask him “are you venting for advice or venting for relief” if it’s relief he’s just looking to get things off his chest and just wants someone to listen, which you can say things like “I understand how that can be frustrating” etc. a lot of times when I’m frustrated or dealing with anxiety I just want to feel heard. If he says he failed you tell him “I chose you for a reason, and I choose you every day. I love you, and if I felt you failed me I would have let you know my feelings so we can work through it. You’re a great husband and will be an amazing father.”

Answer

1. Positive affirmations could help. He could even download an app on hisnphone that will send him some throughout the day. I use “daily quotes” and “Affirm.” I think also helping someone see the “Bright” side of things.... helping them see the glass as half full. 
2. Personally i think anxiety can be just like any other weakness in life. Sometimes u have to exercise where u are weak... negative thinking can be redirected. I also suggest youtube!!!! I love Marissa Peers and so many others to help reset the mind. You both can look up managing negative emotions, limiting beliefs, etc.

3. Hows his diet??? Eating poorly can contribute to brain fog and imbalances hormones. Trying to eat whole foods and avoid processed can do wonders. Does he exercise... that can help tremendously as well. I also recommend FASTING. He can do intermittent fasting or water fasting and i bet he will notice a difference immediately! Look up Mindy Pelz, Dr berg, dr fung.

What to say to someone with anxiety

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