Wishing an Hoping an Thinkin an Praying”

My husband and I have been TTC for about 3 years now. It’s been a rough journey with 1 miscarriage but we keep powering through. I see my OB so often I feel like a annoying mosquito to the office staff. We have seen a fertility specialist, discussed <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IVF</a> and even had a minor surgery to confirm I had no blockage in my tubes.

Every month around the time AF is due I cross my fingers and toes and pray “Please lord please let this dream come true for us.” When AF dose show I handle it differently every month. Some months I’m angry, some months I shrug my shoulders and say “God timing not mine” and some months I’m beyond depressed. This month was a depressing one. All I want to do is cry and sleep but I am trying to stay positive.

Little side note I am a Respiratory Therapist and I love my job. I work with a wide range of patients from neonates to geriatrics. While I love the babies and pediatric patients working with them makes me so emotional. Attending Csections and watching the miracle come true for these moms is beautiful but I would be lying if I told you it doesn’t hurt my heart. Whether it’s baby number 1 or 6 it doesn’t matter. I am always envious.

I don’t really know why I’m even telling this story. Maybe I want to know if anyone out there feels the same at work. Maybe I want to remind those who are struggling to keep going don’t look back and just keep trying to move forward. But if your still reading hopefully you aren’t thinking “what a wuss this lady is.” Believe me I’m trying my best to be strong. I hope if you are TTC and hitting a rough patch that you get some clarity or even better a sticking bean that turns into the answer to your prayers. ♥️

A Respiratory Therapist who wants to start caring for a baby who isn’t someone else’s.