Venting!!

I just need to vent before I loose my damn mind!!

I feel like I'm suffocating myself!! I am so damn stressed at home, I'd rather work and not be home and come home tired as shit than be home and deal with my damn dogs.

I'm 12 weeks pregnant & for some reason our bright thoughts were since we wernt getting pregnant yet, we'd get another dog before baby comes 😒 ya. Well we got pregnant. & having a new puppy along with a new pregnancy is fucking hell I tell ya.

I litterally hate this thing. & its probably the hormones talking but I cant stand her right now. My boyfriend works 2on 2 off. So I'm home 2 weeks by myself, working 2 jobs (both very draining), cleaning the house, doing the laundry, getting the groceries, helping do things for his parents, trying to train this damn dog, taking care of the yard stuff (we live on a huge lake lot) and at some point trying to even give myself some point of damn sanity.

My puppy is the devil of dogs I tell ya! The jumping, biting, barking, whining. She has it all. Shes going to be a huge dog. Antalnion Sheppard, preyaneese mix. We have a HUGE yard. & even that isnt enough to kill her energy. She plays with my other big dog all day outside, still does nothing. If I dont get to walk her, she whines at 5am thinking it's time to get up. If I let her outside she just barks and whines and scratches the door. She barks at EVERYTHING outside. I cant even take a bath without her causing some type of hell out there to disturb my peace. Jumping up! Yup that too. I cant even walk to my car with out being tripped or having my stuff spilt on me because she acts like a fricken pogo stick.

My other dog is constantly trying to go inside than outside than inside. Always trying to get attention because now he barley gets any because it's all going to the pupppy. So now when I open the gates to drive in he runs off leaving me to go look for him.

I am trying SO DAMN hard to do the training with her. But I am tired. I am exhausted. I am drained.

I live 2 hours away from any of MY family or friends. The closest place to do anything (shopping etc) is 50 minutes away.

I complain to my boyfriend so damn much I feel bad for him! But he comes home and it's like a vacation for him. "Oh the dog is so quiet" "Shes doing so well" so than he doesnt do anything with her for training wise. He hangs with his friends, goes hunting, works in the shop etc. he does things for me yes. But my life litterally is the same 24/7 365 days. I still come home cook dinner and clean when he is homme.i still walk the dogs, practice training, go to work, do the laundry. Repeat. My body is so damn sore.

It is so hard to just stay calm with her. I feel like I'm yelling allllll the time. Shes only 4 months & I dont even want to know what she is going to be like down the road. & I know I need to get on it. & I know shes "just a puppy, itll pass" but hell. My other dog did not do any of thiss. I know I got lucky with him.

I love being pregnant. I love that I finally get to experience this feeling. But god damn, i need a break. 😪😭