Opinions on liking pictures on social media?

Question

Hi everyone I’m in a serious relationship and it’s only been 7 going to 8 months because we want to get married one day😊 but I’ve been feeling very insecure lately because I’ve noticed and it was a pattern before and after we started dating how my boyfriend would like pictures of girls showing cleavage, their butts basically half naked. At first I ignored it but then it became something big and it hurt me deeply. I confronted him about this with another dating couple and I expressed to him how it made me feel and we were able to work things out. But then I noticed it again and I told him off he gave attention to this girl and he excused it but I told him that it wasn’t okay, and this really affected my self esteem and my trust in him. There is more but this happened a couple days ago I noticed that he liked another picture and it was a girl showing her butt and I was done and I basically told him that he needs to figure himself out because he keeps giving these girls attention and I basically said how hard is it for you to scroll down and not give it importance then he started excusing it with it’s how men are “biology” I can’t help it. Then I told him that you just lack self control and he’s excusing himself and I can’t be putting all the work on my part, I literally don’t put myself in situations that make me struggle and he always looks at girls on the internet and in person. And I told him I don’t want to marry an immature guy who can’t help me feel secure. But what do y’all think about it ?
-it’s affected my body image so much I haven’t been eating well
When should the limit be?
Am I not being a Christian?

And then he told me that he is allowed to think other people are attractive and I called him out I was like that is such a disgusting entitlement that gives you no right to act on that? 
I am crushed broken and I don’t think I’m good enough

Accepted Answer

Ok, I'm going to assume you both are Christian because of the room you posted this in. He is not pursuing God when he does this. He is probably getting defensive and putting it all on you because he knows he should not be doing this but doesn't currently want to change his behavior. He should know Christ's teaching on lust, and if he prefers to spend his time looking at scantily clothed women even when he knows it hurts you, that's not mere attraction... that's lust.
I hope you didn't confront him with that other couple as your first step. You should follow Jesus's teaching in Matthew chapter 18 (starting in v15).

Answer

I agree with Amanda, assuming if you both are christians, he is lusting which is cheating AKA sin. Biblically lusting is a sin no matter the form. I would not be with this person beyond that fact and how he knows how you feel about it and still does. It can be hard to change but with limits and prayer he could stop. Blaming his basic needs as a man or however he put it shows how he doesn’t take accountability for his actions.

Answer

As a wife with a husband who is a reformed sex addict- don’t ignore, it almost ruined our marriage in many different ways. 
As my husband put it - first it’s just pictures, then it’s just short clips, then it’s just porn videos then it’s just messaging, then it’s just personal videos from people you talk with.. and the next step would have been meeting up but luckily for me it never got that far. All hurt the same. 
God has a funny sense of humor about these types of acts too, if you wanna know you can message me. 
Look up the book Clean by Doug Weiss, this is the book that transformed my husbands point of view, given by our pastor to help my husband with his addiction. He has been clean from porn/etc for 2 years now. 
It gives lots of logical statistics, it’s not all bible verses.
Seek help from your pastor if your boyfriend won’t listen but seek help for how YOU are to approach it not to “fix him” that just pushes them away. 
Best of luck to you, if you have question your welcome to message me.

Answer

As Steven Furtick said in one of his videos, sex/ sexuality/passion is like a fire. Fire is good in certain contexts and within certain parameters. Fire can keep you warm and provide light. However, that same fire can also burn down houses when there are no parameters for it. The parameters that God has ordained for sexuality and passion is marriage. Your man is only fanning the flames of sexuality without parameters and it’s only going to hurt himself and you. He’s setting himself up for unrealistic expectations that he’s going to project on you. He is letting the enemy skew and pervert the sexuality that God has ordained for good within marriage. With that being said, I think you have a right to be concerned.

Answer

This would be a problem in my marriage as well, in fact, it did used to be a problem. When my husband and I first got married, neither of us had social media’s, we deleted them together because we felt like Facebook and Instagram and all of that was hurting our relationship. When we got pregnant, we decided to make a Facebook again, my profile but he has full access to it when ever he wants. We made the profile so our families from far away could keep up with our daughter easier. However, I started noticing him looking up tattoo pages. At first I thought nothing about it, my husband has a full sleeve and other tattoos other places. I thought he was just checking out some cool tats for inspiration or something. But I quickly realized he was mostly looking at the females who had been tattooed, specifically the ones posing in seductive manors, barely wearing any clothes. Of course I was not okay with this. The Bible clearly states that lusting after someone other than your spouse is cheating. Cheating is adultery. Adultery is sin and an abomination against your spouse. I of course discussed this with my husband as calmly and level headed as I possible could. We were on two different walks with God at that point. At first, he didn’t think that looking at other women was cheating. In his eyes the only way to cheat on someone was to physically engage in sex. It took a lot of time, and a lot of Bible verses for me to get across to him that what he was doing was wrong. He eventually came to the same understanding that I have, but it was a long road, honestly. It took a lot of patients and persistence for me to help him see the same view the Bible laid out for us. I would talk to your boyfriend about this for sure. Try not to blow up on him, no one likes to be talked to in that manor. But do be firm in your beliefs about this. Do your research and find multiple verses in the Bible that outline what cheating is. Have those verses marked in your Bible and show your boy friend each and every example you can. He may not be on the same walk as you right now, and that’s fine, but he can’t disrespect you as his chosen partner who he wants to marry one day. The best advice I can offer is to be patient. His views may not change over night, I fact they probably won’t. If you need to, do what my husband and I did with my Facebook, block the pages that he struggles with looking at. Do it together so that it doesn’t come off as you trying to control him, but let it be a decision that both of you make. It’s a great thing to set distance from the things that are giving your trouble. Best of luck to you, girl.

Answer

What a dickhead. Men like this dont give af about you. Leave him.

Answer

You are a young women who wants to please God. 
Your boyfriend liking sexually suggestive pictures of other women makes you feel uncomfortable, it would make most women feel uncomfortable. 
I’m glad that you talked to him about it and shared your discomfort and him not respecting your feelings can make you feel hurt. Especially since you aren’t looking and liking other guys’ pictures on Instagram. 
I’m guessing you both are Christians, so have a conversation about how you want a relationship that has God in the center. 
This takes effort on both sides and explain to him that you are trying your best to walk in God’s word and you would like a partner to do the same. If he refuses to stop, then express to him that not putting God first is a non-negotiable￼  for you. 
Sidenote, sex and the desire to have it isn’t dirty and he shouldn’t be ashamed of having sexual desires. However, he needs to work towards containing it in the right relationship (marriage). This is a daily struggle for Christians as well. We just have to make sure that we are trying to pursue God. We will stumble and fall along the way, but God knows our heart.

Answer

What he’s doing hurts you. That means he needs to stop. If I was doing something that directly hurt my husband, I would stop, because I love and would never want to hurt him. Yes, what he’s doing is sinful, but even beyond that, it’s impossible to love someone if you don’t strive for their best. Sorry you’re going through this. I’d recommend sitting down with a respected older couple and talking.

Answer

He IS allowed to think other people are attractive. You don’t get to control whom he thinks is attractive. That’s toxic thinking. 
He can like whomever he wants. I think those pictures are sexy and I would like them myself. My husband and I watch porn. My husband and I find other people attractive because it’s normal. There will always be people prettier than you. He’s not cheating. He’s not being unfaithful. He’s liking a picture on social media. He is allowed to do that. The problem isn’t social media. The problem is you and how you view yourself.

Opinions on liking pictures on social media?

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