When did you have parents/in laws meet baby?

Question

We live in Wisconsin and both sets of parents are from out of town in different states. I am open to having my parents and his parents stay in waiting room and meeting our baby that day after the 2-3 hrs of first feeding/bonding time. But I really don’t want them staying in our house when we are recovering in the hospital. And I don’t want them there when he and I come home from the hospital since we will both have two weeks off together and I want to use those two weeks for just the 3 of us to bond without grandparents. He and I are struggling to come to an agreement on when to allow grandparents to come and visit with baby. I just don’t know how I feel with in-laws staying with me when I’m on my maternity leave when he goes back to work.

Answer

I recommend getting your out of town relatives a hotel.  My in laws stayed with us the weekend we were home from the hospital and although they’re very nice people who tried to be helpful, I seriously regret letting them stay. I was uncomfortable, recovering, and trying to learn how to breastfeed. I wish I had had more privacy and bonding time for just me, DH, and LO in those early days.

Answer

My mom was in the room, my inlaws came to visit us 4 days later and my dad met him at 10 days old. My mom lives in the same town, my inlaws in New Hampshire and my dad lives in South Carolina. If you have family come visit you from out of town best advice I have is make sure they give you space. I didnt stand up for myself and it was a stressful mess with my inlaws camped at my house for 4 days. I was swollen, bleeding and trying to breastfeed. It was a difficult time.

Answer

I would just have them get a hotel and let them know when you want them to come visit and whatnot.

Answer

I can relate to how you are feeling on this. My in-laws live in WI and it’s always been difficult scheduling time when my babies have been born. If you don’t want anyone staying at your house, just let them know that while you are in the hospital they are welcome to visit but won’t be hosting visitors at your house while you are gone. As far as your in-laws visiting when your husband is at work...could you invite them for a weekend? Not sure how far away they are or if a weekend would be too short of a trip for them to make. I would maybe tell them you aren’t scheduling time for them to stay at your house until the first several weeks are over and you have settled more into a routine. My in-laws stayed at our house after my first was born. I came home without my baby because she was in the NICU, I had a c-section and was not doing great mentally and had to deal with them. They wanted to watch a movie and didn’t understand why I said no and went to bed...like I’m going to physically sit on a couch through a 2 hour movie after having abdominal surgery?? And my husband had the audacity to ask me what was wrong. He probably regrets asking after my response. It was a pretty awful experience and I wasn’t so nice with #2 and #3 when they came to visit. I don’t think you will change your mind on how you feel before baby comes so make it well known what your wishes are!

Answer

We are transplants in Madison, WI. My family is in Puerto Rico and my husband’s is in FL. For our first, he came 3 weeks early and so everyone bumped up their flights. His parents ended up getting into our apartment Xmas day when we were released and made it there before us, baby was born 12/23 and originally due jan 13 i think. My parents came about a week later. We took family pics and celebrated which was nice. Had a scary Xmas cause my baby was jaundice and we had to call 911 and we had emt, fire, and police in our apartment. I was a hot mess crying and we told them we were released like an hour before. The on-call dr forgot our billi blanket. Baby responded and they checked his sugar levels and he started feeding so the first responders were awesome and it was nice having in laws because i didnt know what I was doing and after that... hot mess of hormones. After a few days, I got really annoyed, I had no time for rest attending them, trying to breast feed in private, going to clinic everyday to get blood drawn and bot sets of parents in town for almost 2 weeks! 
For our second, we had my parents come in before I gave birth, I had a feeling I was going to be 37 weeks again, and I was right. They took care of 3 year old. The day we got released (sat) my parents left the next day cause they had work. We were alone for a week with a 3 year old and a newborn so I really liked that. We were able to settle a bit and get a routine going.
Where in WI are you?

Answer

I’m from Wisconsin too!!  I can’t help much because my mom was in the delivery room for my son who was born in March and I was totally fine with my mom and sisters being around if they wanted (my dad and brother aren’t into the whole baby thing lol). And my in-laws live in Georgia and aren’t really a part of our lives so they didn’t even volunteer to come visit let alone actually come up.

When did you have parents/in laws meet baby?

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