I just needed to get this out and off my mind. I had my baby girl 9 days ago. Everything had been going fine. I was sore but nothing crazy, no cramping really either. I remember being in more pain after I had my other two. I was on the floor with my daughter and I felt a small gush. Knowing I now needed to probably change my pad I got up to go to the bathroom. Next thing I know there was another gush and blood was pooling on the floor. I started to panic and my husband rushed to help me. I went to the bathroom to see if it had stopped or what but blood was just pouring out and it wouldn't stop. My husband pretty much carried me to the car because at that point I felt like I was about to pass out. He drove like a mad man to the closest hospital and I know I passed out for most of the drive. Once there they tried to stabilize me and then sent me in a helicopter to the bigger hospital I actually gave birth at. Everything happened so fast and I didnt have time to process most of it. My doctor in the ER tried to remove as many clots as she could but there were to many so I had to go to the operating room to have a D&C with the possibility of a hysterectomy. Luckily everything went ok and was in recovery for 2 days. All I can keep thinking about was how I thought I was about to die and telling my kids that I loved them as I was bleeding in the car, how my husband was crying while he tried to keep me awake and how my baby girl wasnt even a week old yet and i might never hold her again. I cant stop crying about it and I'm honestly scared now that I have left the hospital. But I'm alive and I'm ok and I'm trying to remember that.