Spanking

I spank my 1 year old/15 months old....there I said it 😭. I never thought I’d be a mother to spank and I really don’t want to but I try and try and try everything else but the only way I actually catch his attention or he listens is if I give him a tap on his hand or butt. He’s into everything and constantly destroying everything my husband works a lot so it’s mostly just me trying to balance housework, cooking, our 2 dogs, and parenting as well as looking for a job for myself. I’m so short with him sometimes and honestly can’t remember where we went a full day without me losing my patience on him. Please someone tell me how to be better and do better for him....I don’t want him to think all mama is good for his being cruel....💔💔

Edit to respond: thank you ladies for your suggestions I will be looking into them very seriously. I appreciate all the help and yes I have been trying to work on my mental health, I am in a tough place mentally due to recently losing my job, it’s hard to not be contributing financially and feeling like a burden to my husband and now my son...