When u cheated u hurt me, when u said u had feelings for her more than what u should u broke me and when u said I deserve it u destroyed me... I gave u everything. No question asked. U needed it I found a way to get it .. after u cheated as broken as I was I stayed becuz I really wanted to fix us. I knew that we weren’t gonna be the same but even if it was something close to it I would of been happy.. but as the years went by shit got worst between us... the more girl u chased the more hate I felt for u... I was 110lbs when u cheated by the end of that year I got up to 135lbs.. u wanted a thick girl and try to give it to u.. but to u I was fat and I need to lose the tummy. U wanted a girl with straight hair. And u fries my hair trying to give it to u.. I wanted to be the girl u actually wanted.. for 4 years I hated myself I absolutely hated myself becuz I couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me that I couldn’t even get my own husband to love me.. I changed myself in so many ways to please u and I still wasn’t enough.. I blamed myself for u cheated on me.. even thou u cheated on me while I was mourning the death of my mother... that day I should of seen your true colors and walked away but u knew that I had nobody now. U knew that u were my only family and my only friend... I was stuck or so I thought.. it took me 4 years to realize that I can walk away.. 4 years to realize that I am enough.. 4 years to realize that I deserve way fucking more. Last month I looked at myself in the mirror and I told myself by 2020 I needed to be out for me.. little by little I started putting things together to leave... and the more I started to put my future together the happier and more confidently I started to gain in myself again.. I’m waking with my head held high. I have a smile on my face, and I’m losing some weight.. I’m finally making myself happy. Last week u saw that I changed. I was standing in line ordering out food.. a guy that I worked with started talking to me and we were just laughing about something stupid. And I saw u staring at me from the Corner of my eye.. after that u changed a little. U started calling me beautiful, u started came to my job 2 for a lunch date. U started texting me randomly cute messages thru out the day.. I sat u down and I told that came February I was leaving u. Not for anyone else but for myself. I’ve carried so much angry and pain and I didn’t realize how all that was effecting my body until I stepped back... I love you with all my heart even thou u killed me.. but I love myself way more.. I hope u never ever feel the pain u put me thru in your life. I want nothing but happiness for u. I want all your biggest dreams to come true... people say I’m crazy cuz I honestly just want the best for u. But the truth is. I’m not crazy.. I’ve already mourned our marriage. I already went thru all the necessary steps to move on with my life and that’s why I’m able to now.. I’m no longer hurt. I’m no longer sad. I don’t wish shit was differently.. everything happens for a reason. I’m excited for my new adventure up ahead. So here to me2020