SO of 4 years..HELP😣

A few nights ago we invited my coworker and her husband over for drinks and to play some board games and my SO also invited one of his friends.

Well he got super wasted and when I left the room he just openly admits he’s had a threesome with the coworkers husbands EX years ago.

My friend came in the room I was in and told me, and I just feel so ashamed. He’s never told me this before, and I’m not sure if it was to protect my feelings or not but the fact he just openly told someone he had just met really just hurts me.

We’ve been together for 4 years and recently I’ve noticed somethings changing. He will say “why don’t you wear new clothes to give me something different to look at” “why don’t you wear what you did before we were together” “how about we buy a vibrator because sex is kinda boring”

And now I’ve found this out about him.

Am I wrong to feel upset because it was before we were together?

I just don’t understand what his intentions were on saying that nor do I know why it was brought up as I wasn’t in the room.

I guess my confidence has just gone super low after his comments the last few weeks and hearing that makes me feel like I’m just not good enough..

Everyone’s told me you don’t have to change for someone to love you, but I love this man so much I don’t want to loose him.

Sorry for the rant, just needed to let it off of my chest