The past month I have been having a hard time emotionally dealing with my miscarriage that happened in May. May was a hard month to deal with. But December 16th my due date is really hitting me hard! I should be getting ready to have my baby and doing the last minute preparations. Instead I keep reliving the moment I lost my baby! I keep looking at my ultrasound thinking what did I do wrong. My baby had a strong heart beat and was normal on the ultrasound! My husband and I have decided to wait to try again in March. I’m so scared to have to go through the pain once again. I will never forget the day I found out I was pregnant. My nursery is complete and I can’t even walk in there without breaking down so I choose to just stay out of there for now. I’m beginning to think from June to November I was just in denial and kept it off of my mind, but now in December that’s all I think about! I’m so ready for 2020!!