Hi, this is my first post and I'm really nervous about it but I need help!

So I'm a senior in highschool and I've been dating this guy for a while; I care about him a lot but he also doesn't seem to give me any attention unless he needs it (which is maybe once a month) he almost never messages me and I feel lonely sometimes , whenever I mention it he says that I don't trust him. I noticed that recently when I see one of my close female friends I start blushing( she is bi), not sure if that means that I am or not?

Another thing I'm questioning is my gender, I'm quite a busty person(I wear a 36DD)I have a bad tendency of slouching, and if I see myself in a mirror and I'm wearing baggy shirts it makes me happy that it looks like I'm flat, i also like feeling masculine and dressing masculine and want my voice to be more "manly". Not sure if this means anything or not? (Also should mention my family and boyfriend don't like the lgbtq+ community😢)