Typical SAHM with husband that doesn't help drama

I literally feel like a single mother even though I'm married. He works, he pays bills I've always respected that. I pack his lunch, wash and fold his clothes, have his dinner ready when he walks in the door but do you think once he's gotten settled he thinks hey my wife has been chasing 3 toddlers around all day with a baby on her hip maybe I should help? Hell naw! At first I allowed this because he's a construction worker tough job but all I've down is enable him. For a year now he comes home from work I have to tell him to change a diaper, make a bottle. I could be frying chicken the baby will cry, she's teething, and I ask him to console her he come up with every excuse not to pick her up. The weekends are horrible I was happier when we lived a part. We have a 3 year old, 1 year old boy/girl twins and a 5 month old. One of our twins are disabled due to a brain injury at birth she gets therapy three times a week and she's doing well. I'm on point with my kids my three year can write his full name, both of my twins can count to 13 and I'm currently working on sensory play with my baby. I do all this because I care about my family and I'm starting to wonder who cares about me aside from my children its certainly not my husband. We dont even have sex often anymore if I want it he says no and that's that but when he wants it he's smacking my ass, rubbing my boobs and rubbing his junk on my butt until I give in he gets off then goes to sleep I can't recall the last time I had an orgasm. I keep telling myself he'll appreciate me soon it's coming he'll help out, blah blah NAH! I spoke to my MIL she already talked to him but no changed behavior she offered to help me especially when I get a job. She had the kids the past weekend on Saturday I drove an hour to the city to visit my favorite cousin we dont talk often but come to find out she's dealing with the same thing... the exact same thing but she has a job as a bar manager and she just takes it. I can't see myself doing that especially if I have a job. I applied for the post office after getting a 99 score on the test I received an email about an interview. I told my husband about it and all he asked about was what will he eat. I cant believe the man I married is this damn selfish. I’ve had countless conversations with him about my issues but he set in his ways. I struggle with not helping him I feel like at the very least I can pack his lunch it ultimately saves us money. If I don’t pack he won’t he’s too lazy to do that. He’ll forget to take the garbage out I ended up doing that I was raised on going to bed with a clean kitchen and an empty garbage doesn’t feel right going to bed knowing those areas of the house are a mess. I’m a mother in every sense of the word but my husband gets a break... often. He can say not right now or oh well I can’t do that it’s frustrating and even if I’m offered a position I still have to come home and be a mom it doesn’t stop because I’ve worked all day and I’m tired. We’re supposed to be a team yet I’m carrying all the weight. Luckily I got my tubes tied so no more babies and I’m optimistic about my future some day I’ll have the freedom I’ve been longing for. I just need to hold it down make sure my kids are great, take the breaks and stop being a loving wife to my asshole husband. 😒