An eating disorder.

An eating disorder is what is projected onto many young girls. We are told that the body image that is acceptable is a big thigh gap, a flat stomach, big boobs and a big bum. We are told that if you don’t have this body you are worthless, you are unattractive, you are not worthy of being attractive, and you could never be like the celebrities you see who have a different body to you.

You look at yourself in the mirror and think, ‘why don’t I look like my sister? Or the woman on the magazine cover? Or the model wearing that bra I wanted?’. In turn, you learn that how to be accepted is to look just like them. You begin to eat less, because you need a thigh gap.

At first, it is ‘harmless’ dieting. Next, it is losing all the foods you love. Next, you can’t go out with your friends anymore because they would want to eat. Next, you are weighing every last calorie. Next, you are exercising your broken body to the limit. Next, your so fragile you can’t get up the stairs. Next, your family cries for you in secret. Next, you cant get out of bed in the morning. Next, your muscles hurt more than anything. Finally, you don’t want to live any more. Anorexia has told you so.

You look at yourself in the mirror and you know you are starving to death. You know it, but something deep down tells you that this is right, and you have to achieve the goal of looking perfect. You weigh an amount at which you should be dead, but you still don’t have a thigh gap. You have a flat stomach, but no boobs or bum. You have a slim jawline, but your hair has thinned so much that there is nothing left to frame it. You bought the bra that you wanted because now you’re good enough, but it’s too big, there’s nothing to fill it. You look at yourself and wonder, ‘will I ever be good enough?’.

The answer is no. Good enough does not exist. An idealistic representation of women is unrealistic, and unattainable for most. You do not look like your sister, the woman on the cover, or the model because you are not them. You are you. You cannot change that. You exist perfected for purpose, strong and healthy with muscles and shape and hair. No illness should dictate to you that the way you are is wrong. No magazine cover should scream that you are not perfect. No modelling company should hide the people who don’t fit the ideal.

One day, after suffering, you may realise what your worth. You’re beautiful, you’re stunning, and you’re worth living for.

Do not let society tell you when or why you are deserving of feeling beautiful , it could cost you your life, your health, your family and your friends. Anorexia is not worth anything.

Without it, life shines like it never has in a world where it exists in your brain everyday. Stay strong. Stay confident. Stay believing that you are who you are meant to be.